chayei sarah

We are familiar with the medrash that says Eliezer was more than a shadchan for Yitzchok, & rather a shliach kiddushin. The bes halevi explains that although eliezer was an eved c'na'ani and unfit to be  ashliach, he was given a shtar shichrur al t'nai that when he completes his mission he wouls be free from the time he was sent retroactively.

I'd like to share another approach from the medrash Rabbah 60.7. The medrash relates that upon completing his mission for his master Avraham he left his status of being an "arrur" & became a "baruch". The very act of reliably fulfilling his duties transformed him to a "baruch". this suggests that a shtar shichrur was not necessary. An eved c'na'ani cannot be a baruch. he is "am hadomeh l'chamor". His transition to become a "baruch" means that he became human! He became a person whose flesh & blood cannot be OWNED by another! Just like an eved ivri's body is not owned because a person is not an item to physically own, rather his TIME is subjugated to his master so  too when Eliezer became a "baruch" there was an automatic "hafka'ah" from Avraham's ownership and thereby he became  a yid.

However I want to continue the medrash. The medrash then goes on to make a kal v'chomer. If an eved - who is an arrur, & who is required to do his master's request, becomes a baruch by fulfilling it loyally & reliably, the klall yisroel, who are already b'ruchim & act with unrequired chessed to each other, both for  big people & small people ( some explain talmidei chachamim & their students) then certainly they will be blessed many times over!

so if you're looking for some brach in your life, here's the winning ticket for blessing! Do chessed! (& most specifically with talmidei chachamim & their students!) 

Ha'azinu Esrog message

כ' דור תהפוכות הנה Ha' azinu 32.20

This passuk is a critique about Klall Yiroels' unreliability and how we may reverse good will from Hashem to become anger חס ושלום.

The sifri says that we are הפכפכים - moody. Similar to the gamara's description of Achashveirosh. We make commitments on Yom Kippur, but often, quite soon after, the mood of Yomim Noraim dissipates and we are Overcome with other thoughts & feelings that seem to render our pure intentions of Yom Kippur useless. דור תהפוכות

(This may be another reference point of Yom Kippurim) -

How lucky we are thatwe are judged according to the good intentions a that day באשר הוא שם! 

However dismal as it seems, not all is lost. The esrog has a message For Us about these commitments. Rav Brudny shlitah spoke for KollelH a few years ago and said as unrecognizable as the effects of Yom Kippur may be, they are actually there to remain.

Like one who enters a perfume shop, he exits with some of the wonderful Scent upon him, so too, a Yid who experiences Yom Kippur properly, exits as a different Yid. 

There is an indescernable change and purity that remains with any Yid who "does" Yom Kippur.

Perhaps this is hinted to in the Esrog. The most important part of an Esrog is called the "chotem" - the nose. Hinting that we must ensure that at least the scent of Yom Kippur remains with us. 

The two primary signs of an authentic esrog are it bumps and it's עוקץ - root - that must be sunken in. 

Perhaps our commitment was a bit too bold עז כנמר and it may have ups and downs throughout the year- but the עוקץ - anchor - how we connect back to our good shoresh, must be sunken in, deep inside so at least the aroma, the essence of Yom Kippur has a lasting effect.

Perhaps a small Kabbalah that is easy, light, - perhaps almost indescernable! - 

that is anchored so well that it wont be subject to failure (if the עוקץ) falls out

the esrog is passull) that keeps the lingering scent of Yom Kippur.

Another hint may be the horizontal seeds alluding to the קבלות that are full of future potential, yet they are "low lying" compared to other fruit. Again עז כנמר קל כנשר. 

SIMCHA - ALEH 8 - ELEVATED ELATION - NOTES

משנכנס אדר מרבים בשמחה

The entire world seems consumed with the search for happiness, so why do we need a mitzvah or halacha for it?

Why does it seem to elude the masses? Is there anything wrong with feeling perfectly fine being unhappy?

The fact that all of humanity seeks happiness signals the this is truly our purpose. Hashem wants to give pleasure and happiness and designed us to seek it, albeit on a bit loftier level than the simple pleasure of "fluffy cotton candy".

It eludes the masses - because they don't merit Hashem's assistance in finding it, and also dissipates quickly for those that temporarily achieve it because it is a happiness rooted in the finite, limited world of materialism. We can attain a longer lasting real happiness by shifting our focus form thankfulness on material items or finite "gifts" from G-d, to focusing our thankfulness on more "eternal" gifts that we have been granted. Be thankful for something that can never be taken away from you. "I am so grateful I was zocheh to assist my son or husband learn Torah!" " I am so grateful I was zoche to overcome the challeng of tznius!" What a gift from Hashem that I was able to really help a family in need!" "What a great opportunity I had to say something and I held my tongue!" "I am so thankful I had the upbringing that I got." These are all simple examples of happy thoughts that can never be taken away from you.

But to achieve the most authentic, rewarding happiness and also retain it for the "long run" we need to seek a sense of happiness that is literally "out of this world".  An Elevated state of Elation. 

The Rambam (end of hilchos sukkah) states that doing mitzvos with simcha is a great "avodah". This, I believe is key to achieving real, out of this world, happiness. - If simcha in mitzvos is an avodah, then it must be something that we can and must do INTENTIONALLY. "Mitzvos tzrichos kavannah" means we must have intent to perform a mitzvah. From this we gain a new insight from the Torah about simcha - It's not something that is REACTIVE to a situation, but an emotion that that must be PROACTIVE. The world at large approaches happiness as a state of pleasant emotion that occurs from an event that happens to a person. When they get a job, spouse, child, vacation, new car etc. THEN they BECOME happy. Understandably, this is very limiting, and will only occur occasionally. From the Rambam we see that happiness is an avodah to INITIATE. To plan. To decide intentionally to do and actually make it happen! DECIDE for yourself,  "Today I will be happy"!

Secondly, we must approach it as "avodah". Hashem wants us to fulfill His mitzvos with simcha. With this in mind, instead of seeking happiness in the self - serving way that most of humanity looks for it, we can seek simcha in order to serve Hashem more appropriately. If we attempt simcha in l'shem Shamayim, it is no longer a simple finite material, selfish pursuit. It is no longer about asking for our needs or pleasures - which we may or may not deserve. It is asking Hashem to assist us in doing His will properly. We can then hope to have siyata d'shmaya in achieving it, and, since it is being done for avodas Hashem, we will actually be rewarded for it as well! It's like getting paid to eat ice cream! 

But besides for the simcha in performing a mitzvah and the special times in the calendar that the halacha specifically dictate us to be happy, is there any z'chus or reason to just "be happy" all the time?

The final words in the Rema (in shulchan aruch orach chaim) are טוב לב משתה תמיד - A good-hearted person is always "partying". It is the mirror image of his first words in shulchan aruch - שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד . It would seem that both are mitzvos all the time. The question is why? 

Well, we know that one must sell the shirt off his back for neiros Chanukah and yet the neiros of Shabbos take precedence even over that. The great importance of Neiros Shabbos is "Shalom Bayis" - which doe NOT mean spousal harmony. Rashi explains that when the house is lit, people are less likely to be grouchy, grumpy and upset at each other because no one is tripping or banging into things! This great mitzvah of neiros Shabbos is really about creating a happy environment in the home! This is more important than neiros Chanukah which we would have to give up our last dollar for!

This huge z'chus and responsibility is on the woman of the home. She has the unique ability to bring it all together. To take the many personalities living under one roof, and happily and warmly unify them into one complete happy family. She can create the atmosphere that Rashi describes as shalom bayis. And it's a huge z'chus.

One cannot give what he does not have. You cannot exude upon others what you are lacking. And while a polite smile and good morning is certainly sweet and appreciated, real simcha can only be given to others when you yourself feel it. Having a positive energy and attitude is a great way to give happiness to others. In this way a person's constant state of happiness is always serving a mitzvah purpose - in bringing good, positive, happy feelings to others. The gemara tells us of two people who Eliyahu Hanavi described as "B'nei Olam Haba". They were jesters who used to go around putting smiles on peoples faces and cheering them up. This is a great mitzvah to do for anyone and everyone, but certainly a HUGE one for your own family!

R' Moshe Feinstein writes that the tremendous z'chus of simcha shel mitzvah is not only in the simcha of performance of a mitzvah itself, but also when simcha is needed in order to do a mitzvah. For example, simcha was needed for a person to achieve prophecy. So if someone wanted to fulfill the mitzvah of נבואה , he first had to get himself in a good mood. Listening to music in order to lift his spirit for the sake of eventual prophecy, was considered simcha shel mitzvah. So, if we honestly want to be b'simcha for the sake of bringing joy and happiness to those around us, that simcha which WE initiate for ourselves is simcha shel mitzvah! This is not only for when things are already down and in need of cheer. Like the neiros Shabbos, promoting and initiating a positive happy environment in the home in the first place is a wonderful and important mitzvah. 

Sooooo....

Let's keep in mind -  

• That "out of this world" happiness can be achieved if perceived NOT as a self serving pleasure, but as part of avodas Hashem in performing His mitzvos and exuding the positive energy to others. 
• That happiness should not be just a REACTIVE response to a trigger, but something PROACTIVE, we can and must intentionally initiate. DECIDE for yourself and start your morning with this - "I will make this a great, positive day!"
• That women have the unique ability, opportunity, and z'chus to create a happy positive environment in their homes.
• To focus our thankfulness not only on the material finite blessings we have, but on the eternal, infinite, gifts we have been granted as well.
• Simple boosters can and should be used when you don't feel up ready or up to working through this. The Nevi'im used music, so can we. - AND CHOCOLATE ALWAYS HELPS.

 

BISHALACH 79

The Netziv in Ha'amek Davar notes a simple change in the language of one of the p'sukim in this week's parsha. When the Yidden complained about not having water they said למה זה העליתנו...להמית אותי... "Why did this one raise us from the land of Egypt, to kill me?"

The Netziv explains that these Jews understood that Moshe took them out to live life on another plain of existence. To live above the norms of טבע. (As they said העליתנו) However, they felt that this may be ok for the general Klall, but they themselves did not feel up to this madreigah. Perhaps the Yidden could live in the desert without water for years and therefore they could not speak for the klall. But as a yachid, each of these people could speak for themselves to say that they are not up to this task.

However their own words were a self – fulfilling prophecy. In truth, of course there are Jews on very different levels. But what they were not aware of, or what they chose to not notice, was their focus on their being a yechidim, apart from the klall. The Rasha in the Haggadah is criticized not for his sins, but לפי שהוציא את עצמו מן הכלל . The tzadikim don't run an exclusive club. It's up to the simple folk to include themselves and bond with tzadikim on whatever level they are on. Just don't think you're different!

We all sometimes feel that – oh, that level of honesty in business, that level of midos, tznius, hasmadah, shmiras einayim, lashon horah, - (whatever!) is not for me. "I'm not holding there." That may be true, but there is a way to raise the bar – Don't exclude yourself. Join the club.

When the aravah is bound to, and taken with the lulav, in some manner it gets more credit than the Esrog! It is taken in the right hand and the bracha is made al netilas lulav!

So if you're feeling down, it may feel a bit uncomfortable to be a tail of a lion, but don't look at yourself so much! Look at the rest of the people you are with and you'll become the pride of the lions!

Va'eira Pier Pressure

While Moshe's Staff becomes a pretty useful tool in the miracles he performs, we find in this parsha the strange and unique phenomena of the staff itself actually transforming into another form or entity. It turns into a serpent. This is Moshe's first miraculous introduction to Pharaoh in the name of Hashem. Pharaoh himself is referred to as the great serpent of the Nile in the Haftorah of this week's parsha. Another matter to note is why did Pharaoh feel the need to bring in not only his sorcerers, but his wise men , wife's, and even children to disprove the miracle and ridicule it? Could he not have done this 'simple trick' himself? was it just to add insult to Moshe or was there something else behind it?

Yechezkel HaNavi prophecies about Egypt's punishment for presenting themselves as a strong support for Israel to rely on, only to snap and break the shoulder of the one who leans on it. Pharaoh is compared to great sea serpent who will be pulled out of its waters together with all its fish that are caught and stuck in her scales. They will be thrown on the desert floor and scattered only to be eaten by birds of prey and wild animals.  

 

I believe this Haftorah gives a new perspective of Pharaoh. Since when do fish get caught in the scales of another larger sea creature? Only if the the smaller fish are actually going in the SAME direction as the large one AND FASTER.

Pharaoh was not the great giant King of the Sea that he made himself to be. Perhaps this is what is meant when the medrash that Pharaoh was  a midget. He had no stature. No height. He had no "backbone". No Independence. He couldn't privately disprove Moshe with the knowledge that truthfully Moshe's miracle was real. He could only argue with a crowd supporting his shallow laughter. He needed the whole school of fish behind him for him to feel like "headmaster". This is why Moshe's supporting staff turned itself into a legless creature symbolizing Pharaoh himself. This is why his punishment is described by Yechezkel as being scattered on the floor and then left alone and desolate for forty years. 

A true leader is supported by Hashem and with the focus and knowledge that his actions are true. He doesn't need to rely on the support of his peers. He is a true "headmaster" who can swim against the current while his  entire "school" slides smoothly by him in the opposite direction - downstream.

Maran zatzal was such a leader. He was bold to say what was true even to the greatest philanthropist. He dared to challenge any "baleh bayis'' to learn more. And while many thought he would never gain a following, he became a revered and beloved leader to all, gaining the respect of those he fearlessly challenged. 

Don't give in to the school's "pier pressure". Be a true headmaster.     

[Drashos HaRan says that Moshe is labeled the most humble of all men because he also could be tough to stand up against his own people when need be. Whereas Aharon "gave in" to them by the eigel because he lacked that tough great leadership - it was a softness of heart and true humility.]