משנכנס אדר מרבים בשמחה
The entire world seems consumed with the search for happiness, so why do we need a mitzvah or halacha for it?
Why does it seem to elude the masses? Is there anything wrong with feeling perfectly fine being unhappy?
The fact that all of humanity seeks happiness signals the this is truly our purpose. Hashem wants to give pleasure and happiness and designed us to seek it, albeit on a bit loftier level than the simple pleasure of "fluffy cotton candy".
It eludes the masses - because they don't merit Hashem's assistance in finding it, and also dissipates quickly for those that temporarily achieve it because it is a happiness rooted in the finite, limited world of materialism. We can attain a longer lasting real happiness by shifting our focus form thankfulness on material items or finite "gifts" from G-d, to focusing our thankfulness on more "eternal" gifts that we have been granted. Be thankful for something that can never be taken away from you. "I am so grateful I was zocheh to assist my son or husband learn Torah!" " I am so grateful I was zoche to overcome the challeng of tznius!" What a gift from Hashem that I was able to really help a family in need!" "What a great opportunity I had to say something and I held my tongue!" "I am so thankful I had the upbringing that I got." These are all simple examples of happy thoughts that can never be taken away from you.
But to achieve the most authentic, rewarding happiness and also retain it for the "long run" we need to seek a sense of happiness that is literally "out of this world". An Elevated state of Elation.
The Rambam (end of hilchos sukkah) states that doing mitzvos with simcha is a great "avodah". This, I believe is key to achieving real, out of this world, happiness. - If simcha in mitzvos is an avodah, then it must be something that we can and must do INTENTIONALLY. "Mitzvos tzrichos kavannah" means we must have intent to perform a mitzvah. From this we gain a new insight from the Torah about simcha - It's not something that is REACTIVE to a situation, but an emotion that that must be PROACTIVE. The world at large approaches happiness as a state of pleasant emotion that occurs from an event that happens to a person. When they get a job, spouse, child, vacation, new car etc. THEN they BECOME happy. Understandably, this is very limiting, and will only occur occasionally. From the Rambam we see that happiness is an avodah to INITIATE. To plan. To decide intentionally to do and actually make it happen! DECIDE for yourself, "Today I will be happy"!
Secondly, we must approach it as "avodah". Hashem wants us to fulfill His mitzvos with simcha. With this in mind, instead of seeking happiness in the self - serving way that most of humanity looks for it, we can seek simcha in order to serve Hashem more appropriately. If we attempt simcha in l'shem Shamayim, it is no longer a simple finite material, selfish pursuit. It is no longer about asking for our needs or pleasures - which we may or may not deserve. It is asking Hashem to assist us in doing His will properly. We can then hope to have siyata d'shmaya in achieving it, and, since it is being done for avodas Hashem, we will actually be rewarded for it as well! It's like getting paid to eat ice cream!
But besides for the simcha in performing a mitzvah and the special times in the calendar that the halacha specifically dictate us to be happy, is there any z'chus or reason to just "be happy" all the time?
The final words in the Rema (in shulchan aruch orach chaim) are טוב לב משתה תמיד - A good-hearted person is always "partying". It is the mirror image of his first words in shulchan aruch - שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד . It would seem that both are mitzvos all the time. The question is why?
Well, we know that one must sell the shirt off his back for neiros Chanukah and yet the neiros of Shabbos take precedence even over that. The great importance of Neiros Shabbos is "Shalom Bayis" - which doe NOT mean spousal harmony. Rashi explains that when the house is lit, people are less likely to be grouchy, grumpy and upset at each other because no one is tripping or banging into things! This great mitzvah of neiros Shabbos is really about creating a happy environment in the home! This is more important than neiros Chanukah which we would have to give up our last dollar for!
This huge z'chus and responsibility is on the woman of the home. She has the unique ability to bring it all together. To take the many personalities living under one roof, and happily and warmly unify them into one complete happy family. She can create the atmosphere that Rashi describes as shalom bayis. And it's a huge z'chus.
One cannot give what he does not have. You cannot exude upon others what you are lacking. And while a polite smile and good morning is certainly sweet and appreciated, real simcha can only be given to others when you yourself feel it. Having a positive energy and attitude is a great way to give happiness to others. In this way a person's constant state of happiness is always serving a mitzvah purpose - in bringing good, positive, happy feelings to others. The gemara tells us of two people who Eliyahu Hanavi described as "B'nei Olam Haba". They were jesters who used to go around putting smiles on peoples faces and cheering them up. This is a great mitzvah to do for anyone and everyone, but certainly a HUGE one for your own family!
R' Moshe Feinstein writes that the tremendous z'chus of simcha shel mitzvah is not only in the simcha of performance of a mitzvah itself, but also when simcha is needed in order to do a mitzvah. For example, simcha was needed for a person to achieve prophecy. So if someone wanted to fulfill the mitzvah of נבואה , he first had to get himself in a good mood. Listening to music in order to lift his spirit for the sake of eventual prophecy, was considered simcha shel mitzvah. So, if we honestly want to be b'simcha for the sake of bringing joy and happiness to those around us, that simcha which WE initiate for ourselves is simcha shel mitzvah! This is not only for when things are already down and in need of cheer. Like the neiros Shabbos, promoting and initiating a positive happy environment in the home in the first place is a wonderful and important mitzvah.
Sooooo....
Let's keep in mind -
- That "out of this world" happiness can be achieved if perceived NOT as a self serving pleasure, but as part of avodas Hashem in performing His mitzvos and exuding the positive energy to others.
- That happiness should not be just a REACTIVE response to a trigger, but something PROACTIVE, we can and must intentionally initiate. DECIDE for yourself and start your morning with this - "I will make this a great, positive day!"
- That women have the unique ability, opportunity, and z'chus to create a happy positive environment in their homes.
- To focus our thankfulness not only on the material finite blessings we have, but on the eternal, infinite, gifts we have been granted as well.
- Simple boosters can and should be used when you don't feel up ready or up to working through this. The Nevi'im used music, so can we. - AND CHOCOLATE ALWAYS HELPS.
